Our Lady ofPerpetual Thirst
Our Lady of
Founded a successful software company before selling it and endowing the university's Annual Regrettable Decisions Scholarship.
Madison Clarke — Once appeared on three different reality television shows without ever explaining why.
Serves as Chief Executive Officer of a Fortune 500 manufacturing company.
Holds the unofficial campus record for attending the most alumni reunions she cannot actually remember.
Became a respected civil engineer responsible for several award-winning bridge projects.
Opened an artisan candle boutique that has somehow expanded into twelve locations.
Was elected mayor of her hometown after promising to keep council meetings under twenty minutes.
Invented a reusable wine glass that somehow still gets lost at every party.
Earned international recognition as a marine biologist studying coral reef restoration.
Appeared as "Woman Holding Coffee" in four Hallmark Christmas movies.
Became a federal judge and still refuses to discuss what happened during Spring Formal 2012.
Published a best-selling cookbook consisting almost entirely of recipes requiring one pan and very low expe
Was promoted six times in eight years and now leads cybersecurity operations for a major financial institution.
Successfully monetized her procrastination through a wildly popular productivity podcast.
Won a regional cornhole championship and now lists "professional athlete" on LinkedIn without further explanation.
Returned to campus every Homecoming weekend despite graduating fifteen years ago and nobody asking her to.
Became a NASA aerospace engineer while insisting her success had "very little to do with freshman chemistry."
Owns the state's highest-rated vineyard and insists every excellent vintage begins with questionable decisions.
Holds the world record for saying, "I'll only stay for one drink," without ever once being correct.
Received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, though her classmates still remember her mostly for setting off the residence hall fire alarm with a toaster pastry.
